Describing Writing

In class we have been learning about how to describe in our writing and we had to include precise nouns,adjectives and we had to extend our sentences so that they are not like the man was walking into the shop. We also had to made shore that we are using present tense so it's like what is happening right now not what has happened.

               As I stroll into the shop I see a young lady sleeping on the scarlet red counter lying opposite the other lady that looks as board as a bee with no flower to pollinate.The ladies slouching in the chair look like they just want to leave, go home, lie in their beds and close up for the day.

 I am in the shop and I feel as if a am drowning in a colourful plastic ocean. From top to bottom the shelves are packed with fluorescent coloured toys but the planes and cars are dull white and there are some black and brown plastic toy guns that are at the back of the shop hanging from a wall. The lady types and makes an annoying clicking noise on her grey computer as I am gazing at the toys so that I can pick out the toy that I like. When I look around it is very hard to pick out a toy because there are so many different types of toys to choose from.I feel frustrated because I can’t pick just one toy out of at least one thousand.

 I feel annoyed about plastic and sad for the animals because plastic kills all the animals in the sea and we are destroying their homes. I wish that plastic didn’t exist in the world so that all the animals in the sea would be still alive but because of us nearly all the animals are dead.